meahhhhhhhhh

I have to work tomorrow...

nuff said.

Praise Jesus!

OMFG!

Born Again Christian Lady and Bible Quoting Child !

Thank HELL I didn't get this one, I would have lost my job...

And Technically both of them were quoting the bible. The mother kept quoting scripture, and telling her 3 year old boy to do the same, and she even went so far as to ask the cashier if he was "OF THE FAITH" ... he said he was Jewish, oops, mistake.

Cuz now she won't stop blessing him for being of the faith and is trying to get HIM to QUOTE SCRIPTURE TOO! And just going on and on about the great works and mysteries of god and blah blah blah, and her kid is like "Honnor thy father and thy mother" and I'm trying not to laugh my ass off cuz my customers are looking at me like 'WTF is going on over there?' and I mouth to them 'shes been quoting scripture for the past 5 minutes' and they are all like 'Well ok then, glad I'm in THIS lane.'

And she QUOTED SCRIPTURE to the cashier too, expecting him to be able to recognize it and quote back, and he's looking over at me like 'WTF do I do?' and im like, 'just keep humoring her now, you started it you gotta finish it.'

I am trying sooooo hard not to laugh my ass off. I dunno if I could have handled this lady, I probably would have had to say, "Mam, that is personal and I would prefer not to talk about it" cuz otherwise I would have quoted the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Best part?
It was that cashiers first day!
I told him, "See, you got your first crazy, now your one of us!"


(yea i get the irony in that opening too)

Pimpin Grand daddy stole the cash yo!

So today I'm on express all day (yay!)
but only because they are doing an audit on me
(for those who don't know or can't guess, it means they isolate me on the till and count it afterwords to make sure I'm not a dirty rotten thief! grrr)

Anyway, the reason they were doing that is because I had signed on to a till and rang some people up last week when the the previous customer came back and started arguing with the previous cashier that didn't leave yet about whether he gave her a $20 or a $50, she had given change for a $20, but he thought he gave her a $50. Manager comes over and makes change for a $50, then of course he has to count the til... yea, it was short like $50 cuz of that and since my # was in the machine I get an Audit sheet! :(

Anyway, the point of this entree was really to tell you about how I was on register a few days ago and saw the Pimpin-est Grand Daddy of em all. I'm talkin crisp white rebocks (stylish and comfortale) no laces, white sweat pants, styling sunglasses, and a white sweatshirt that said "Pimpin Ain't Easy".

I had to try soooo hard not to laugh my ass off.

Pimp on Old Dude, Pimp on ;)

Hey, so you can sell booze now? Grrrrrrrrrrrrrate

Yes, we can.

Thanks to a recent law change where I live (thanks to a very ambitious petition and publicity campaign led by the company I work for, no shit) we can now sell alcohol in the supermarket and not just the Wine and Spirits shop next door.

And it came with loads of new CRAP to deal with, like:

Fear training - we have to card everyone or we could be:

Fined
Fired
Arrested

And customers who DON'T want to comply

And customers who DON'T understand the rules.

erm...yay?

At least we get to call the manager if anyone gives us trouble about 100% proofing, Carding everyone no matter what, except we call it 'proofing' cuz we're a classy store, well, as I suspected most of our customers are, er, less then such and have been all:

"I dunno what that even means, I mean, the sign says 100% proofing, but it doesn't say what it means?"

Oh boy x_x

So right after training I get the 'Nightmare Customer'

Me: "Hello, how are you today?" *begins ringing up order, noting wine bottles at the end*
Nightmare Customer: "Oh I'm good, you"
Me: "Fine thanks" *reaches end of order, scans wine* "May I please see your drivers license in order for you to be able to purchase the wine?"
NC: "WHAT?!?! Why ?!?!?!?!?"
Me: "In order to comply with state law, our store needs to follow a 100% proofing policy. We need to card everyone"
NC: "WELL, if that's not the most rediculious, stupid thing, here." *Flashes me her license*
Me: *Begins to enter date of birth into the computer*
NC: "WAIT, what are you DOING?"
Me: "I'm entering your birthdate"
NC: "WHAT!?!?! You don't need to do that, you can see I'm above the legal limit, I DON'T WANT MY NUMBERS IN THERE!"
Me: "Ok, hold on and let me get someone to help" *Calls manager over, and before they can even ask...*
NC: *To Manager* "I DON'T want my NUMBERS in there, COLLECTED in some DATABASE!"
Manager: "I'm sorry, but... (manager proceeds to rattle off the same speech I did)"
NC: "I DON'T care! I DON'T want my BIRTH DATE COLLECTED in some DATABASE! Get me YOUR manager!"
Manager: "Ok" *gives me the 'we got a crazy one' look and called over THEIR manager...*
Department Manager: "Hello, how can I help you today?"
NC: "THEY can SEE I'm OLD enought to purchase this wine. I DON'T want my BIRTH DATE in the COMPUTER, in some DATABASE! I DON'T want to be getting a BIRTHDAY card from wegmans saying 'come shopping' or some other BULL SHIT!"
DM: "I assure you we are not putting your date of birth in a database, we are just complying with state law."
NC: "SO what YOU'RE saying is you DON'T want me to buy this here ANYMORE!"
DM: "Mam, it is your choice where you shop."
NC: *finished purchasing groceries and leaves without wine*

Ta Da!

Fun times, Fun times.

Um, I believe you misheard me...

Seriously,

I would never insult a customer!

So Sunday I had a customer that gave me a bad feeling afterwords, the kind of feeling that says, 'Hey, I think hes gonna start trouble.'

Apparently he came back the next day to complain...about ME!
*Induce fear and worry!*
Said the customer behind him said "This is taking too God Damn Long!" and the old man I was ringing up, thought I had AGREED WITH HIM!

erm, no old guy, no.

What I really said,
because I saw they were both getting stressed out that it was taking a little longer then usual for a manager to come over and key in a coupon for me (i was technically suppose to be express too, that didn't help) was,

"Yes, sometimes it can take the managers a little while to get over to me when it's busy."

APPARENTLY HE HEARD SOMETHING LIKE,

"Yeah, this man is taking long and its busy"

ERM, NOT EVEN CLOSE!

At least my boss knows that I would never say something like that.

Cool dude.

The old guy? A fucking ass wipe who needs to turn up his hearing aid.

FUCK!