Monday, April 19, 2010

So... you already have the knives and tape at home?

Ok, from time to time we get some interesting combination's of purchases, but this one was just out there.

Creepy looking older dude comes through my lane stares at me the entire time (which happens from time to time and yes is very unnerving and/or annoying) and buys the following:

  • 10 boxes of Ziploc sandwich bags
  • 10 boxes of Ziploc 1gal bags
  • 10 boxes of Ziploc 3gal bags
  • 20ft rope - heavy duty nylon 1/2 in. thick
  • 1 cheese grater

...so, i guess he already has the knives and tape at home, or perhaps he stopped by Home Depot to get the chain saw and other lawn devices that can double as torture tools.


creepy dude is creepy.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Magazine Person

Our magazine person(stocks the magazine racks in front of the registers and in GM) at work use to be a really grouchy lady, she was mean and rude to the cashiers and even the customers.

A month ago she was replaced with a new magazine person described below:

7ft 4in
Short Brown Hair
Manicured Nails
Clean Shaven
and...
B Cup Breasts

He is our Transvestite Magazine Person, and is very polite and kind and all in all really cool to talk to.

I definitely prefer this new person :)

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

I guess you're waiting for me huh?

Yeah, I hear variations of this, what feel like a billion times a day,

"Oh, I see your waiting for me!"
"Nothing to do huh, I'll help keep you busy"
"You're just waiting for me aren't ya?"

Yea........

FUCK NO!

DO YOU REALIZE HOW ANNOYINGLY AND PAINFULLY UNORIGINAL AND REPETITIVE THAT IS?!?!
I SWEAR TO FUCKING HELL IN A HANDBASKET ONE DAY I WILL FUCKING LOOSE IT ON SOMEONE WHO DOES THIS, I AM SAYING RIGHT NOW I WILL NOT BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE, BECAUSE I WILL HAVE FUCKING LOST MY SHIT!
GAHHH F&*#(())*(&*#$&*(&(*@&$ ! !!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCKING STOP IT!

STOP IT NOW!

WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE YOU SHOULD SAY SOMETHING, JUST FUCKING DON'T! OR JUST GO WITH



"Hello"


Hello is good. Oddly it isn't annoying, maybe because it's short and neutral.

Yeah,

Hello works just fine.

Do that.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

I see myself as a license ninja, why don't you?

Ok, so we have to check everyone's license if they are buying alcohol, and I get this lady today:
She takes out her license, slides it across the moving belt from one end to the other, and of course it falls through into the bowls of the register.

I know I have this look on my face like, *what the fuck, are you for real* ?

Can't say that of course, I make jokes, put her at ease, promised we would find it.
So I take the scale apart, no luck.
Check the catch tray, no luck.
Have to open the side hatch at the bottom and reach into the dirt and wires, and god know what else, but I do find her license. So yay, but seriously lady,

What the Fuck were you thinking?

"I'm gonna be all ninja and cool and slide my license across to the cashier and ..." ?

uh...
No.
Don't do that ever again.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Muffin Man

Dear Muffin Man,

It was very cute of you to count all of your muffins in front of me and to point out that "technically" you had more then seven (since I was express.)

Now fuck off.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Less Sleep

Ok, so i just got less then 4 hours of sleep and am going to work now. Fuck, I hate this.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Um hello? Welcome back from space... sort of

So you know how usually pens disappear from work because people walk off with them, usually its an honest accident, while some people try to take them because they have this weird sort of kleptomania or something.

Well, the other day I actually experienced the reverse of this for the first time, ever.

Enter Spacey Woman

--------------------------------

Me: "Hello, how are you today?" *begins scanning and bagging groceries*

SW: *Looks around surprised* "Whah, huh? Oh I'm good dear."

Me: *Gets to the end of the order, but noticed the woman hasn't started the payment procedure yet...* "Ok, well, now you need to choose a payment type."

SW: *more surprise* "Oh, uh, ok here we go." *woman pushes buttons, then stops*

Me: *notices she's selected to pay by check* "Miss, please fill out your check for xxx.xx amount."

SW: *more surprise* "Whah? Oh right, yes, of course" *takes out pen and checkbook from purse fills out check and puts her pen on the counter*

Me: "Thank you, and here is your reciept" *Notices she is walking away without her pen* "Oh mam, you'r forgetting your pen!"

SW: *supreme surprise* "That's not my pen. I've never owned a pen like in my life! That must be yours dear."

Me: *erm...* "Ok, mam thank you and have a nice day"

Next customer (who had witnessed the entire transaction of Spacey Woman) and I share a look and he busts out laughing and shaking his head.

I just shrug and say, "Well, there's a first time for everything."

--------------------------------

Good luck Spacey Woman
I guess...