Um hello? Welcome back from space... sort of

So you know how usually pens disappear from work because people walk off with them, usually its an honest accident, while some people try to take them because they have this weird sort of kleptomania or something.

Well, the other day I actually experienced the reverse of this for the first time, ever.

Enter Spacey Woman

--------------------------------

Me: "Hello, how are you today?" *begins scanning and bagging groceries*

SW: *Looks around surprised* "Whah, huh? Oh I'm good dear."

Me: *Gets to the end of the order, but noticed the woman hasn't started the payment procedure yet...* "Ok, well, now you need to choose a payment type."

SW: *more surprise* "Oh, uh, ok here we go." *woman pushes buttons, then stops*

Me: *notices she's selected to pay by check* "Miss, please fill out your check for xxx.xx amount."

SW: *more surprise* "Whah? Oh right, yes, of course" *takes out pen and checkbook from purse fills out check and puts her pen on the counter*

Me: "Thank you, and here is your reciept" *Notices she is walking away without her pen* "Oh mam, you'r forgetting your pen!"

SW: *supreme surprise* "That's not my pen. I've never owned a pen like in my life! That must be yours dear."

Me: *erm...* "Ok, mam thank you and have a nice day"

Next customer (who had witnessed the entire transaction of Spacey Woman) and I share a look and he busts out laughing and shaking his head.

I just shrug and say, "Well, there's a first time for everything."

--------------------------------

Good luck Spacey Woman
I guess...

Excuse Me?

This is to the little old bitty that makes me ring up every one of her produce items by scanning the printed bar codes she puts on them after weighing them at our self weighing stations in the produce section, but always somehow picking the machine that will not scan them forcing me to have to type them each in individually because OMFG it's like a few cents cheaper on your tag then when I weigh it on my GOVERNMENT REGULATED SCALE, and you will not even listen to me explain that even when I am doing what you asked me to and holding up the express line, holy FUCK!

Please,

Drive your car into a lake and drown.

Fall off a cliff.

Get attacked and impaled by ninjas.

Some how set your self on fire and burn to death while preparing couscous.

Just FUCKING DROP DEAD !

Thank you :)

p.s. I hate you, you irritate the hell out of me :(

Damages Disaster

Fuck you for not putting in the effort to teach me where damages are and having me have to ask a bunch of people until I figure it out. Typical. Disaster, she was right, next time, I'm making sure they show me where to go and what to do.

------------------------------------------

On a lighter note, a mother and her four year old boy come through my lane today. I start bagging their groceries and the little boy looks up at me and says,

"I love Lady Gaga, she is sooooo bEAutiful!"

I looked at the mom ask if to say, did he just say what I think he said? And she was like "Oh, is he talking about Lady Gaga again? He's a big fan"

And as they were leaving he was like, "Mom, are we going to listen to Lady Gaga in the car? She is pretty."

I love this kid!