So, I happened to overhear part of the conversation of my next two customers, and it went something like this...
*Talking about Girl 1's key chain*
Girl 1: "...so he got it for me cuz he was worried about me, isn't that sweet?"
Girl 2: "I dunno, I guess so, it can't accidentally go off can it?"
Girl 1: "No no, its really secure. The cap is hard to get off, I guess it's so you don't hurt yourself."
Girl 2: "Oh that's good then"
*I ring up Girl 2 with the usual flare, then to girl two.*
Me: "Hello, how are you today"
Girl 1: "Oh, good." *Goes to hand me her key chain*
Me: "Um, I'm a little worried about touching your key chain now... is it safe?"
Girl 1: *laughs* "Oh, no, it's ok, its just mace"
Me: o_O' "o... ok then."
Girl 1: "The cap is on really tight, it can't go off accidentally or anything."
Me: *carefully scans key tag and hands back key chain*
Yea, just another usual day at work.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
I always feel like... sombodys watching me
At work I have a calm and comforting demeanor, I don't like to start trouble,
and am friendly to others ... like I have to be. Meh.
Apparently this attracts the nut jobs, like flies on shit, where I work.
Today though, I got a new one.
~ ~ ~ Paranoid Lady ! ! !
Now, Paranoid Lady gets in my lane and I notice she's glanced over he shoulder a few times at a fellow a few lanes down from us. I don't say anything and hope that sinking feeling would go away...naw, she's going to make this be weird.
PL: "Excuse me."
Me: "Yes?"
PL: "Is that gentleman over there watching me?"
Me: "Um, the man a few lanes over?"
PL: "YES! Don't stare at him, just let me know, is he looking over here?"
Me: "Hum, well no, he doesn't look like he's looking over here."
PL: "He was following me, at least it felt like, it seemed like he was, he followed me through the whole store!"
Me: *...*
PL: "I'm very aware of my surroundings, some people aren't but I am. He went down every aisle I did!" *implying I'm not seeing it cuz I'm not 'aware' enough*
Me: *...*
PL: "I know when I'm being FOLLOWED! He was watching me, and when I noticed he said 'Hello' and SMILED! He followed me and now I feel weird we are both checking out at the SAME TIME!"
Me: "He does not seem to be looking at you miss, but I can have someone escort you to your car if you would feel safer?"
PL: "No no no, I just think its weird we are both checking out at the same time too."
Me: "Well, your all done now, and he's still getting his stuff all packed up, so you will be leaving long before he will"
PL: "Oh, good, ok then"
Me: "And you can go out that exit if you don't want to walk by him."
PL: *proceeds to walk right by her 'stalker'*
Paranoid Lady, you are 65 years old,
unless he had a geriatric fetish, I doubt he gave a shit about you.
It was more likely that you both needed TP, tomato sauce and lettuce.
Leave the poor polite man alone!
and am friendly to others ... like I have to be. Meh.
Apparently this attracts the nut jobs, like flies on shit, where I work.
Today though, I got a new one.
~ ~ ~ Paranoid Lady ! ! !
Now, Paranoid Lady gets in my lane and I notice she's glanced over he shoulder a few times at a fellow a few lanes down from us. I don't say anything and hope that sinking feeling would go away...naw, she's going to make this be weird.
PL: "Excuse me."
Me: "Yes?"
PL: "Is that gentleman over there watching me?"
Me: "Um, the man a few lanes over?"
PL: "YES! Don't stare at him, just let me know, is he looking over here?"
Me: "Hum, well no, he doesn't look like he's looking over here."
PL: "He was following me, at least it felt like, it seemed like he was, he followed me through the whole store!"
Me: *...*
PL: "I'm very aware of my surroundings, some people aren't but I am. He went down every aisle I did!" *implying I'm not seeing it cuz I'm not 'aware' enough*
Me: *...*
PL: "I know when I'm being FOLLOWED! He was watching me, and when I noticed he said 'Hello' and SMILED! He followed me and now I feel weird we are both checking out at the SAME TIME!"
Me: "He does not seem to be looking at you miss, but I can have someone escort you to your car if you would feel safer?"
PL: "No no no, I just think its weird we are both checking out at the same time too."
Me: "Well, your all done now, and he's still getting his stuff all packed up, so you will be leaving long before he will"
PL: "Oh, good, ok then"
Me: "And you can go out that exit if you don't want to walk by him."
PL: *proceeds to walk right by her 'stalker'*
Paranoid Lady, you are 65 years old,
unless he had a geriatric fetish, I doubt he gave a shit about you.
It was more likely that you both needed TP, tomato sauce and lettuce.
Leave the poor polite man alone!
Thursday, October 15, 2009
I guess it is 5 o'clock somewhere...
not here tho, or at least, not when Mr. Tipsy got in my line today at 4ish.
I'm doing my usual thing, "Hello how are you" rings up items after patron grunts whatever response la de da, de da.
Then I hear this, "HELLO THERE!" bellowed from the depths of some guys gullet.
I look up and see... Mr. Tipsy.
I do not know who he is, but he has definitely been hitting the bottle early,
maybe there was an office luncheon,
maybe a birthday party,
who knows cuz it's only Thursday.
He seemed to be having a little difficulty deciding what volume his voice should be, or which direction was south if you know what I mean. Needless to say, this is what followed...
Mr. T: "HOW are YOU today!"
Me: *Trying not to giggle* "Oh, I'm good, how are you Sir?"
Mr. T: "well... I'm just DANDY!"
Me: "That's nice Sir"
Mr. T: "Yea YEA, you can shove ALLLLL that in one bag for meh!"
Me: "Sure, no problem."
Mr. T: *grunts and swoons* "Huh, is that there the bathroom?" *gestures to our kiddy play center, definitely NOT the bathrooms*
Me: "No Sir, the bathrooms are just behind me" *Points to bathrooms*
Mr. T: "OOOH! ok, Mind if I USE em?" *swoons some more* "Hey, YOU think I could LEAVE my BAGS HERE?!? THINK they would be OK!?!?"
Me: "Sure, I'll keep an eye on them, it's no problem at all."
Mr. T: "You do that, and THANK YOU KINDLY!" *grunts and swoons way to the bathroom*
*Next customer enters the que*
Me: *ackward smile* "I apologize, that man is clearly intoxicated."
Nice Lady: "Well, at least he's polite and behaving himself. Hey, its 5:oo somewhere right?"
Me: "Indeed." *rings up groceries*
*Mr. Tipsy returns from the bathroom for his items.*
Mr. T: "ALL right young LADY! THANK YOU KINDLY!!!"
Me: "Your welcome!"
I really hope he was not driving...
but maybe I do.
I'm doing my usual thing, "Hello how are you" rings up items after patron grunts whatever response la de da, de da.
Then I hear this, "HELLO THERE!" bellowed from the depths of some guys gullet.
I look up and see... Mr. Tipsy.
I do not know who he is, but he has definitely been hitting the bottle early,
maybe there was an office luncheon,
maybe a birthday party,
who knows cuz it's only Thursday.
He seemed to be having a little difficulty deciding what volume his voice should be, or which direction was south if you know what I mean. Needless to say, this is what followed...
Mr. T: "HOW are YOU today!"
Me: *Trying not to giggle* "Oh, I'm good, how are you Sir?"
Mr. T: "well... I'm just DANDY!"
Me: "That's nice Sir"
Mr. T: "Yea YEA, you can shove ALLLLL that in one bag for meh!"
Me: "Sure, no problem."
Mr. T: *grunts and swoons* "Huh, is that there the bathroom?" *gestures to our kiddy play center, definitely NOT the bathrooms*
Me: "No Sir, the bathrooms are just behind me" *Points to bathrooms*
Mr. T: "OOOH! ok, Mind if I USE em?" *swoons some more* "Hey, YOU think I could LEAVE my BAGS HERE?!? THINK they would be OK!?!?"
Me: "Sure, I'll keep an eye on them, it's no problem at all."
Mr. T: "You do that, and THANK YOU KINDLY!" *grunts and swoons way to the bathroom*
*Next customer enters the que*
Me: *ackward smile* "I apologize, that man is clearly intoxicated."
Nice Lady: "Well, at least he's polite and behaving himself. Hey, its 5:oo somewhere right?"
Me: "Indeed." *rings up groceries*
*Mr. Tipsy returns from the bathroom for his items.*
Mr. T: "ALL right young LADY! THANK YOU KINDLY!!!"
Me: "Your welcome!"
I really hope he was not driving...
but maybe I do.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
To Latex Lady, with love
Today I met the latex lady.
She is allergic to latex...
She's a little weird,
but otherwise a cool person.
I like weird, cool people...
She is allergic to latex...
our conveyor belts are MADE of latex...
you see the problem here.
So, she puts all of her items in those blue carry baskets so nothing touches the belt, and if something falls onto the belt, you have to get it replaced for her, she really can't touch the stuff.
She's a little weird,
but otherwise a cool person.
I like weird, cool people...
therefor...
I like you Latex Lady.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
And then a savior appeared...and she said the wisest thing I've ever heard...
So I was working a few days ago, doing the usual spheal of hellos and how are you today's and getting the usual fines and goods and total ignoring of my presence when I was asked to ring up a little old lady on register 20.
This woman was AWESOME!
She told me to take my time, that she wasn't going to move fast and while she was here I could just take it easy. The world tries to move too fast anyway she says. My bosses close the lane for her, this is just the drill.
She ragged on my bosses, but in a friendly way, very warm and grandmotherly humor.
A lot of the front end ppl came by to say hello to her, She would say,
"Oh hello Evan, yes Jason already helped me out, this nice cashier is doing a wonderful job, but I have to say, Jason did a better job at helping me here then YOU Evan, ah ha ha, just kidding, just kidding you."
All laughs, all smiles.
The best thing she said to me was, "I'm old, I've earned the right to bitch!"
To which I said "Man, I hope I make it to that age then!"
She laughed and laughed like it was the best thing she's ever heard, said don't worry, you will, just take your time getting there.
She was an amazing person.
She is dying of cancer.
She is living every moment of her life upbeat and happy about it. Thankful for and enjoying the time she's got. I'm sure there are negatives, but she doesn't dwell on them.
I admire her, I'm 24 and I envy her, this old woman with cancer, because she has life figured out. So many people never figure life out, I hope I do.
later
And remember,
The world tries to move too fast anyway.
This woman was AWESOME!
She told me to take my time, that she wasn't going to move fast and while she was here I could just take it easy. The world tries to move too fast anyway she says. My bosses close the lane for her, this is just the drill.
She ragged on my bosses, but in a friendly way, very warm and grandmotherly humor.
A lot of the front end ppl came by to say hello to her, She would say,
"Oh hello Evan, yes Jason already helped me out, this nice cashier is doing a wonderful job, but I have to say, Jason did a better job at helping me here then YOU Evan, ah ha ha, just kidding, just kidding you."
All laughs, all smiles.
The best thing she said to me was, "I'm old, I've earned the right to bitch!"
To which I said "Man, I hope I make it to that age then!"
She laughed and laughed like it was the best thing she's ever heard, said don't worry, you will, just take your time getting there.
She was an amazing person.
She is dying of cancer.
She is living every moment of her life upbeat and happy about it. Thankful for and enjoying the time she's got. I'm sure there are negatives, but she doesn't dwell on them.
I admire her, I'm 24 and I envy her, this old woman with cancer, because she has life figured out. So many people never figure life out, I hope I do.
later
And remember,
The world tries to move too fast anyway.
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